


Summer June Bugs

by rawrlsy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, School, a shitton of angst, and fluff i guess????????, no fluff probably, rest in pieces reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 09:00:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6073228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rawrlsy/pseuds/rawrlsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yamaguchi had become Karasuno's volleyball captain. Tsukishima's happy for him, but how happy can he be if he never sees Yamaguchi anymore?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Summer June Bugs

**Author's Note:**

> This was for the prompt: things you said I wish you hadn't.
> 
> I sort of twisted this A LOT. Oh well.
> 
> Thank you for reading this! Leave me some feedback on how I can improve! :D

The Present: September 

Karasuno’s gymnasium looms over Tsukishima, its shadows just escaping the heels of his feet as he walks away from the place that held his richest memories.

It had only been one term. The cool autumn breeze lifts his hair, sending a shiver down his spine. It’s as though most of the warmth in his life was gone.

It had been just one term. One term, and it all changed. The best thing he had, now no more.

Tsukishima sighs and takes a step away from the gym, widening the hole in his heart ever so slightly.

Just as he heads back to the school’s main building, Yamaguchi stands in front of him, heading towards the gym himself. They catch each other’s eyes before steeling their gazes and brave the other’s company.

They walk past each other, Tsukishima looking straight ahead as Yamaguchi pushes forward.

The two boys brush past each other, barely an inch separating their bodies that contains their quivering hearts.

 

One Year Ago: September

“What are you so worried about?”

Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were pushing their desks together in class to take their lunch during the break. Yamaguchi seated himself in his desk, slumping over and burying his head in his arms.

“Why _me_?” Yamaguchi moaned.

Tsukishima couldn’t help but snicker. “Do you really think Ennoshita-san is going to choose Kageyama and Hinata over _you_? They can’t even stop fighting, there’s no way they can run a team.”

“I’m not even vice-captain!” Yamaguchi whimpered.

“Tanaka-san is already vice-captain, but he’s leaving after this term too. There was no one else.”

“But what about you, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi said in a muffled voice.

Tsukishima unpacked his lunch and sat down next to his friend. “I don’t think I’m more qualified than you are to be captain. You really were the best choice, Tadashi.”

Yamaguchi lifted his head, his eyes big and sad. “I don’t think so. I have one term before I become captain, and I’m not nearly prepared enough for this.”

Tsukishima lazily draped an arm over Yamaguchi’s chair, a rare show of affection. “ _I_ think so. You’re going to be a great captain. I’ll be there to support you, so stop worrying.”

Yamaguchi smiled at Tsukishima. Reaching over Tsukishima, he grabbed his free hand and held it under the desk. Tsukishima slightly blushed; he never enjoyed showing public affection, not to anyone.

“Thank you,” Yamaguchi said in a lowered tone.

Tsukishima looked away. Then, he mumbled, “That’s what I’m here for, Tadashi.”

 

Four Months Ago: May

Tsukishima knew that Yamaguchi was going to be busy as the captain. He hosted extra training sessions with the first-years that excluded Tsukishima and Kageyama. Apparently, they “intimidated” the first-years too much.

He underestimated, however, how busy Yamaguchi was actually going to be.

With college exams in a few months, captaining the Karasuno volleyball team, _and_ mentoring the first-years, Yamaguchi was the busiest highschooler Tsukishima knew.

Too busy to even make some time for Tsukishima.

A month into the first term of their third year at Karasuno High, and Tsukishima barely saw Yamaguchi outside of class or practice. So many dates had been planned, most of them ending with Tsukishima walking away, realizing that Yamaguchi had, again, run too late to make it.

Sighing, Tsukishima left the café that they planned to have a small afternoon date at. They agreed for four o’clock. It was seven o’clock now.

Swinging his backpack over his shoulders, Tsukishima put his headphones over his ears and played music to drown the growing sadness in his heart.

 

Two Months Ago: July

“Come on, Tadashi,” Tsukishima persistently said over the phone. “We still have two days until the summer training camp.”

Tsukishima could hear Yamaguchi sigh over the phone. “I know, Tsukki. I want to do something too, just us two.”

“Then why can’t we?” Tsukishima asked. He flinched at the slight desperation in his voice.

“We still have so much to do to be good this year. I have to make sure the first-years know that I’m there to help them. They’re not like you and I, or Hinata and Kageyama. For most of them, it’s their first year playing competitive volleyball.”

“You’re doing great as a captain, though – I have never heard someone say anything bad about you. Don’t you think it’s time to give yourself a break? You don’t have to prove yourself anymore.”

Tsukishima knew he was being unfair when he said this. Being friends with Yamaguchi for this long, Tsukishima knew why Yamaguchi acted the way he did. The concern that he had half a year ago about taking charge as Karasuno’s volleyball captain really pushed him to try and be the best captain he could. He spent countless hours in the gym, drilling the first years and going above and beyond with skill improvements of his own. He wanted to impress.

Tsukishima, however, didn’t know _who_ Yamaguchi was trying to impress. But, he just let Yamaguchi do it, because he knew that Yamaguchi felt he had to.

But now, with them winning game after game and the first-years showing results in their hard practice with their captain. Tsukishima thought that the time to relax was earned.

Yamaguchi, though, did not.

“It’s our last year,” Yamaguchi said with a steely tone to his voice, something that he developed quickly over the past term. “We’re beginning to climb the ranks as a volleyball team. We’ve won consecutive championships – we need to continue.”

 _No,_ you _want to continue,_ Tsukishima wanted to say. But, he held his tongue. He sighed, rubbing a weary hand on his neck.

“But,” Yamaguchi continued before Tsukishima could say anything, “I _do_ miss spending time with you.” He laughed over the receiver. “I remember when we used to catch June bugs all the time when we were little.” Yamaguchi paused. Silence stretched on, and Tsukishima had to check his phone to make sure that their conversation wasn’t cut off. Yamaguchi then said, “I want to do that again.”

Something flared inside Tsukishima. His heart softened, and he took a breath. “Me too,” he answered quietly.

“Really?” Yamaguchi replied excitedly. “The first-years want to do some drills tomorrow with Hinata and me, but I’ll make it short.”

Tsukishima stayed silent, doubt creeping along the sides of his mind.

“I promise!” Yamaguchi breathed quickly. “I miss having time for us too – I promise. I’ll meet you by the riverbank at two o’clock – okay?”

Tsukishima made his mouth into a flat line.

“Okay?” Yamaguchi repeated.

Tsukishima opened his mouth, his heart shivering, a slight hope keeping it from breaking away. “Do you promise, Tadashi?”

“Tsukki. I promise.”

 

Two Months Ago: July

Tsukishima mindlessly threw stones into the water, the cobbles cold and uncomfortable beneath him. The sun was beginning its descent beyond the horizon.

Beside him was a net and two June bugs in a small container.

Tsukishima didn’t even like being outdoors much, let alone catching June bugs in the middle of the summer’s heat. But he knew that Yamaguchi loved it.

The only person who enjoyed this, however, wasn’t here.

He stood up and brushed himself off, feeling a small numbness inside. He picked up the net and gripped the container, holding it close to him.

“Tsukki!”

Tsukishima stood still, his back turned towards the voice. He wanted to take a step forward, away from him. Tsukishima’s mind was still, but his heart was raging.

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi repeated. This time, his voice was much closer.

Gritting his teeth, Tsukishima whirled around to meet an out-of-breath Yamaguchi. He pushed up his glasses.

“Ah, I’m so sorry!” Yamaguchi panted, hands on his knees. “I – Oh…” Yamaguchi trailed off as he saw the net tightly gripped in Tsukishima’s hand.

“It’s six,” Tsukishima stated.

“I know,” Yamaguchi said quietly. He straightened up and balled his hands into fists. “I’m so sorry, Tsukki – Practice just – it –”

“It ran late, I know.”

“ – ran late,” Yamaguchi finished, his voice slightly faltering.

The two boys stood facing each other, tension high in the atmosphere that not even a comforting summer wind could dissipate.

“I don’t know what to say,” Yamaguchi spoke up after a while. “We had so much to do, and with the training camp coming with, Nekoma _and_ Fukurodani are going to be there again, and…”

“Did you forget?”

“What? No!”

“Then why are you so late?” Tsukishima practically spat. “Two o’clock. It’s six now.”

“I know!” Yamaguchi took a step towards Tsukishima. Tsukishima could see the freckles on Yamaguchi’s face, freckles that he adored and tried to count once. “Tsukki, I’m sorry. Let’s do something, okay? Right now. Let’s go to the café that we always go to. ” Yamaguchi reached for Tsukishima’s hands, but Tsukishima pulled them out of his grasp. A hurt look flashed across Yamaguchi’s face.

Tsukishima diverted his gaze from Yamaguchi, his hurt magnified a thousand times that Yamaguchi wore. He thought his mind was calm.

But, thousands of thoughts, emotions, and images flashed through his mind. He was in a storm.

Tsukishima, so usually logically driven, began to speak before he could stop himself. “Do you really believe that you can make this all up with just one date after all the times you just _left me_?”

Yamaguchi’s shoulders tensed up. “What – what do you mean?”

Tsukishima looked at Yamaguchi, not bothering to mask the pain and anger in his eyes. “How many times have you stood me up? You think an ‘I’m sorry’ text sent hours after the time we’re supposed to meet is alright? Do you think that this childhood bug-catching stroll down memory lane is going to make it all better?” Tsukishima was yelling now. “It’s been six months, and I barely see you outside of class and volleyball practice, Tadashi. I’d be lucky to eat lunch with you during break!”

Yamaguchi looked at Tsukishima, his hurt turned into shock and eventually anger. “It hasn’t been easy for me either,” Yamaguchi said, his voice quiet and quivering. Tsukishima knew he was in for it now; Yamaguchi was rarely ever angry. “It’s hard to make time for the volleyball team _and_ you! It’s hard for me to figure out what to prioritize?”

Tsukishima flinched. Words hurt after all.

“It’s either an entire volleyball team I have to please, or my boyfriend. It’s just…it’s hard.”

Yamaguchi searched Tsukishima’s face, at a complete loss of what to do. His bottom lip quivered. Tsukishima lowered his gaze again, his heart threatening to suffocate him.

“Tsukki,” Yamaguchi started again, taking another step towards Tsukishima. This time, Tsukishima took a step back. “Tsukki, you know I love you. You know I do. We’ve known each other since…” He faltered.

“I didn’t think it was that hard of a choice,” Tsukishima eventually said, his voice just above a whisper. “I don’t want you to have to choose.” Tsukishima turned around and walked away from Yamaguchi.

“Tsu – Tsukki!” Yamaguchi called out. Tsukishima could hear Yamaguchi’s steps after him. He spun quickly around, and Yamaguchi stopped dead in his tracks.

For the first time in his life, Tsukishima had to fight back tears in his throat. He cleared it and spoke in a clear voice. He knew he was being irrational.

But, he didn’t care.

“I quit the volleyball team. They clearly need you more than you’ll ever need me.” He swallowed, regretting the words that were about to form in his mouth. “And, I quit whatever _this_ is. I’m tired, and I can’t put up with it anymore.”

Without another word, Tsukishima ran from Yamaguchi, ignoring Yamaguchi’s cries for him. He ran all the way home, his lungs threatening to burst from the exertion and the emotion pain that clouded his head.

Tsukishima sat in his front porch, heaving for air. He hugged the container with his June bugs on it, watching then two bugs crawl around, trying to find escape. Tsukishima lowered the container and opened the lid, letting the June bugs escape. When he did that, Tsukishima couldn’t help but feel that something precious to him was lost, forever.

 

The Present: September

Every step away from Yamaguchi is like a nail through Tsukishima’s heart. Even though it had been two months since they had stopped seeing either, it was still hard, especially since they’re in the same class. After the day by the riverbank, Yamaguchi had incessantly called Tsukishima, in which Tsukishima stubbornly ignored all of his calls. Yamaguchi had even stopped by his house, but he refused to answer any doorbell.

Tsukishima had believed it was easier that way, to let the source of his pain go.

But every time he thought that, he remembered how much _joy_ he also experienced with Yamaguchi. Not only did he lose a friend, he lost someone he _loves._

Instead of things becoming easier, as he hoped for, things became harder. Even still, Tsukishima continued his façade in front of Yamaguchi. On the outside, he makes sure to act as normal as he can. On the inside, a small part of him breaks every time.

Yamaguchi’s footsteps fades away from Tsukishima. He announces his presence when he enters the gym, and the first years excitedly greet their captain as he makes his way onto the court. Just as Tsukishima enters Karasuno’s main building, a voice, all too familiar, calls out to him.

“Tsukki.”

Tsukishima’s heart skips a beat. Yamaguchi says his name with the same amount of tenderness as before, as though what transpired over the summer never happened.

Before Tsukishima could stop himself, he whirls around. Yamaguchi leans against the gym’s doorframe, his arms crossed and his gaze expectantly looking at Tsukishima. Tsukishima wants to curl up; he felt so exposed in front of Yamaguchi.

“I know you q – stopped coming to practice,” Yamaguchi starts slowly, “but Hinata’s not tall enough to show proper techniques as a middle blocker. We need someone more experienced. Just for today,” he quickly adds.

Tsukishima stands in his spot, waiting for Yamaguchi to say more. He hoists his backpack higher on his shoulder.

“Did you –”

“Could you maybe –”

They both stopped talking when they realized they were speaking at the same time. Tsukishima could see Yamaguchi’s blush clearly against his freckles. Taking a deep breath, Tsukishima starts his sentence again.

He had to be the one who asks. He was never good with words, but he always said what was on his mind through his actions.

This time, though, needs to be different. He needs to show how much he still _cares._

If volleyball is important to Yamaguchi, then it’s important to him too.

“Did you need me to help the middle blockers out today?”

A slow smile spread over Yamaguchi’s face. He breathes a sigh of relief. “Yes. Oh God, yes.”

His entire body takes a breath, and tension begins to seep out of Tsukishima. He walks towards the gym, stopping himself from running to Yamaguchi. As he mounts the steps and past Yamaguchi, Yamaguchi, ever so slightly, touches Tsukishima’s wrists. Emotion that had been bottled up for these past months floods within him, and it took all his effort to keep his composure. That is when he knew.

Anything broken between can be mended. Because that’s the type of bond they have.

Tsukishima smiles ever so slightly, enough for Yamaguchi to see. And that was enough for both of them.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm shit at endings, I'm so sorry omfg
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read this, and please, PLEASE leave me some feedback! <3


End file.
